Potatoab10

They say death is painless. It's not. It's the most painful thing possible. I fight death everyday. Death whispers in my ear, telling me to join him. But I'm not ready, yet the offers keep becoming more temping. "It will be quick. It won't hurt. It will be better." he tells me. I stare at Death with tear filled crystal eyes and shattered glass heart, "but what about my family?" His sinful voice echoes everywhere. "No one will miss you. You are nothing." "I don't want to die." I sound like a apologetic child since I disappointed Death so often. "But you don't want to live."

forget it i just want to forget it all to reverse the last two years to when we were strangers so then i could breathe again that this pain weighing on my chest would go away that my hands wouldn't shake when memories come flooding back that my eyes didn't fill with tears every night i just want to forget it all where my heart used to be whole when i used to rest my head next to you what would it feel like to be happy again i just want to forget it all

when i close my eyes, all i can picture is your eyes big, bright, brown, beautiful our fingers twist together my head resting against your chest heart rapidly beating with nerves each time our lips meet its magic its never ending its prefect its bliss and i wake up those big, bright, brown, beautiful eyes

blade. wrist. slice. bleed. Deep breathe, everything is okay now. The relief is flooding your body, the pinches of pain blocking out all those scattered thoughts. It's blissful, it's numbing. blade. wrist. slice. bleed. It hurts worst this time, more blood. Stinging pain is shooting up your arm. Where's the relief? You need a break from it all, just a moment. All you need is a second. blade. wrist. slice. bleed. It's getting harder to explain: to lie. So many questions, not enough excuses. It's a chore, a draining task. It's your only thought. From when, where, and how to cover it up. It was all temporary, escaping from it all was once s

I swing my sandals from the straps as the sand crushes between my toes. Your fingers are locked in my mine and will never be parted. It amazes me that just looking at each other communicates how much we are in love. The cold, salty water splashes over our feet as our footprints are washed away from the waves. Every moment together seems to pass too quickly as we journeyed back to the car. Our lips meet in a heated passion once we reach the car. I never seen you drive that fast before. Even in the elevator, my hands can't help but wonder all over your body as our tongues flick across each other. You stumbled to find the room key fast enough.

The pitter patter of my heart speeds up the moment I see you. The invisible force that gravitates my eyes towards you can't be stopped. The way my name rolls off your tongue makes the whole atmosphere spin. If I built up the courage, there would be no need for these sexual tense conversations. Our lips could meet in a place besides my dreams. Others would look on with envious eyes when we walked hand in hand. We could be so much more than friends. But the nerves have filled my stomach and gush out every time I wish to speak. Our distance will be kept at a reasonable amount. And we'll pretend to not catch each other staring from afar. All my

heart; I listen to it beat at night. Every soft beat, like the endless playing of a drummer. hearing it beat means I'm alive, but I don't feel alive. sometimes I wish I could reach into my chest and pull out my heart. I'd squeeze my fingers around it tightly, feeling ever last slowing beat in my finger tips. lungs; I can never catch my breathe. It feels like the air around me is becoming scarce. Maybe all the oxygen is escaping through tiny holes in my lungs, leaking out and bubbling around in my skin. stomach; Keeping an food down is beyond impossible. I find myself running to the bathroom after every bite. Just watching fo

Waking up next to your amber eyes is the only way I can imagine waking up to. With your cold fingers wrapped around my hips, and your flat stomach pressed against my back. Your arms looked miniature compared to mine. You were always there. Well, at least in the beginning. Your smile would light me up while you held my hand. I should have been a better friend to you. I should have noticed sooner.  The consent trips to the bathroom. The weight loss. The way you pinched your 'fat' in front of the mirror. The way you would play with the food on your plate. As we're laying on our bed, I turn over to face you. But I see someone else. So

whip the blood off your face and pick yourself off the ground are you going to take that? fight back. fight with everything you got. don't let them push you down. let your eyes glow red with rage. split their lips, crack their ribs, break your knuckles. watch the blood drip off their nose.

the stars are dim compared to your smile, promise to stay by my side i need your hand i need your laugh i need your smile what would you say if i told you i love you? would you say you love me too? because i need your love and i need your smile.